I'll love you 'till I die
by Elisabeth BK
Summary: It's the summer after Angel left Buffy at the end of Season three and when all of her friends go away on vacation, she is really lonely. But is she really alone? And what happens when someone she believed to have gone forever is suddenly back in her life?
1. Chapter 1

**I'll love you 'till I die**

**Pairing: **Buffy/Angel (what else ;-))

**Timing: **Buffy Season 3-4 and Angel Season 1

**Disclaimers: **I don't own any of the characters and I don't use them to make money. Nothing's mine but the idea to the story. And the song's mine too.

**It's only my second story and I really hope you like it. Please send me reviews! So, here goes the first part. =)**

Angel was once again standing in front of the house in Revello Drive, which was so familiar to him. A long time ago, when he had been together with Buffy and they hadn't known about the curse yet, he had often visited her when she had been grounded or when she couldn't sneak out. Then he had just come to her and they had shared a few long kisses before she went to bed and he went home. Angel sighed at the memories of those happy times. Those were the happiest moments of his unnaturally long life – the moments he had got to spend with Buffy.

Nowadays he spent at least two nights a week here, in Sunnydale, her home, where she had her friends and her mom, where she would soon go to college. He had only been standing there for a few minutes and he already started a debate within himself. Should he jump onto the roof and look through the window to check on her? The answer was no, he shouldn't. He should leave her alone. He had broken up with her so she could have a normal boyfriend, a normal relationship. He had told her to forget him, but did he want her to forget him? No, he didn't. He wanted her to remember, to cherish all those memories, just like he did.

He knew he shouldn't check on her, he shouldn't even be in town without saying hello, and in his brain there was a piercing voice telling him to stay away, to just get into his car and drive back to LA. A few nights ago he had stood in the very same place and he had promised himself that he would stay away. He had sworn to not come back again. It was unfair to her, always seeing her although she couldn't see him. And he had really tried to stay away, but he couldn't. She was his reason for fighting, his soul mate, his love. He felt a pull towards her which he just couldn't ignore.

One day, he had just felt such an urge to see her, so he had waited for twilight, then he had gotten into his car and driven right to her house. He had climbed onto the roof to look through her bedroom window and had found her lying on the bed, sleeping. She had looked like an angel, sleeping so peacefully with a slight smile on her face. He hadn't been able to tear his gaze off her until he had felt dawn approaching, and he had known he had to get back to LA.

Since that night, he had been to Sunnydale almost every night, when there were no demons to kill or vampires to slay. He would just stand on her roof and watch her sleep until he felt the sun come up. He always felt so content when he looked at her, it was like he was still a part of her life. But then he would remember that he wasn't, that he was just an outsider, looking in on her life, the life she had built herself here, a life without him.

And after a while, Angel had just gone to Sunnydale and watched, while he was trying not to think about any of it. Because he didn't know what to think. His mind was full of thoughts about how he shouldn't be there and how he desperately wanted to stay and never leave. He also knew that he loved her with all his unbeating heart, but that it could never be. All his dreams about them finally being able to be together would never come true.

So now Angel was standing in front of her house, looking up to the window of her bedroom. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't see the little bit of light shining in her room. He figured she would be sleeping at such a late hour. Not wanting to wake her, he jumped onto the roof, careful not to make any noise, and made his way to her window, to sit on the windowsill like always. Her window was open and just as he quietly wanted to climb in, he noticed the little lamp on her nightstand illuminating the room just slightly. He looked around and found his Buffy sitting on the bed, facing in his direction. But she wasn't looking at him or the window, she was looking down on the guitar she held in her hands.

He was a little bit anxious. What if she would look up and find him there? What would she think, what would she say or do? But when he realized that she was holding a guitar, he stopped thinking about leaving. All of a sudden, Angel was curious. He had never seen her with a guitar or heard her sing or say that she liked playing. Perhaps a new hobby?

He then noticed that she was also writing something down, and she was murmuring to herself.

"C, yeah, that's the chord I've been looking for, okay finished. Let's see if it sounds good," Buffy said to herself, oblivious to the fact that Angel was standing just outside her window. In these two months since Angel had been gone, she hadn't really gone out much or had had a really funny evening. In fact, she had been really miserable. She just couldn't forget him. And then the dreams had started. Really vivid dreams about Angel and herself. Willow was the only one, who knew about these dreams. She hadn't told any of the others because they were expecting her to move on and forget Angel, but she couldn't. She loved him with every fiber of her being and Willow was also the only one who had been there after he had broken up with her. She had been the one who had had to endure heart-broken Buffy. But since Willow was on vacation with Oz in Romania, she had no chance of talking to her all that much. So she decided to write songs again. She had done that a lot when she hadn't been the slayer yet, and then every once in a while a song would come into her head and she would sit down and play it. And since Willow had been away she had written lots of songs, all about Angel. Tonight, she hadn't been able to sleep, so she had just gotten her guitar out of the closet it was usually in when she didn't play, and she had started writing, almost crying as she brought the words to paper, because they were all connected with a memory. So she began to play and sing out loud, not having to worry about waking her mom. Her mom was in LA, buying some artwork for the new exhibition at her little gallery.

_I'm standing here alone_

_I can't believe you're gone_

_You walked right out of my life_

_Without saying goodbye_

Angel was stunned. He hadn't know that Buffy could even play the guitar, but she was playing like a pro. She was really good. And her voice! She sang so beautiful and when he really listened to the lyrics of her song, a silent tear made its way down his cheek.

_Just one 'I love you'_

_Was enough to survive_

_You said 'always'_

_You just passed by_

It was so heartbreaking. She remembered everything. Every word he ever said to her, every move of him, every gesture, just every moment they had together. And she sang with everything she had, she laid every emotion into that song as she began the chorus.

_Never wanna be without you baby_

_I know I won't be alright_

_And I know I won't survive_

_Now that you've left my side_

Did she really feel this way? It was like she was singing everything he felt. He couldn't survive without her. That was the reason why he was always lurking outside her window and staring at her sleeping form.

_I'm crying all the time_

_There's no reason to smile_

_My reason is gone_

_They all want me to move on_

Was he really her reason? He knew exactly how he felt, she was his only reason for everything, but it couldn't be mutual, could it? She had so many things worth living for, so many reasons to smile in her life, she just couldn't feel so strong about a vampire that had once been a part of her life.

_But I know I never will_

_It's like time is standing still_

_Until you come back to me_

_Baby, please_

She wanted him to come back to her, she wanted him in her life, that was what she had told him back then. How could he have been so blind? He had thought to know what she wanted, that he knew what was best for her, that she had been to young! No, she hadn't been to young. She had always known what she wanted. She was a smart, beautiful, young girl and she had always known what she wanted. Was that what the song was about? Could she really want him back, after all that they had been through, after all the times he had hurt her in so many ways?

_Never wanna be without you baby_

_I know I won't be alright_

_And I know I won't survive_

_Now that you've left my side._

_And I'll love you 'till I die._

Buffy had ended her wonderful song and sighed. She had always liked to play the guitar and she hadn't had a lot of time for things like this since she had come to Sunnydale, but it was good that she had time now because it was the only way of getting it all out, with her best friend being in Romania. She stood up, wanting to put her guitar back into the closet and the paper back onto her desk. It was only then that she noticed the dark haired man standing outside her window.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: So, this is Chapter 2, enjoy it! Thanks for all the comments, let me know if you like this chapter as well!**

"Oh!" was all Buffy could say. What was he doing here? And how long had he been there? And why the hell did he have to look as gorgeous as always?

"Hey, Buffy," Angel murmured. God, that sounded lame. But he didn't know what to say. And he knew she would ask questions, and he didn't have any answers. He didn't know why he was there or why he hadn't gone away when he had noticed that she was awake.

"Wh...Why are you...What are you doing? Here, in Sunnydale? Outside my bedroom window?" Buffy stuttered. She couldn't think properly. So many times she had pictured him coming back to her, but in her imagination she had never sang to him. In fact, she had never even told him that she played and sang.

"Buffy, I...ähm, I..., I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt you, I mean, or overhear you. I just wanted to see you, I guess," Angel managed to get out. When had he turned into a stuttering, nervous, anxious teenager? He was a vampire of more than two hundred years and he had never been shy or something. But in a conversation with Buffy it was all different. He had always acted different around her. She was just so special, and he had always been afraid to say the wrong thing.

"You wanted to see me?" Buffy asked confused. "Why? You broke up with me, you moved away! And now you come back to see me?" Buffy was getting angry. Who did he think he was? She was crying all the time about him being gone and then he came back to see her? Yeah, sure, put the sword in the wound again and poke around a little bit. Make it hurt more. No, she wouldn't let him hurt her more. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He had already broken her heart, what could possibly be worse?

"Ähm, well, yes, sort of. I didn't think you would be awake. I...I often come here at night, just to watch you sleep," he admitted sheepishly. "You, you wanted to watch me sleep?" Buffy asked, in a tone that told him she was questioning his sanity. And maybe he was insane, but he loved her insanely and so much with all his heart. And it was killing him everytime he had to leave again. In the meantime, Angel had climbed through the window and was now standing on the other side of the room than Buffy.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I've been here often and I know I shouldn't have, but," Angel was trying to explain his actions. Buffy interrupted him, "Wait, wait, wait! How often have you been here? And when? And why? Plus, you're right, you shouldn't have! You have no right to just come to Sunnydale every once in a while and watch me sleep! What is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me? You can see me but I can't see you? Please, explain this to me!" she demanded furiously.

He didn't know what to say. "Buffy, I didn't mean to torment you, I just, God, I needed to see you! I can't be without you, I can't stay away! I'm not strong enough, I thought I could do it for you, but I can't! It hurts a little more everyday and it feels like hell, sometimes even worse. And I can tell you how it feels to be in hell, cause I've been there. And I would go back there any day if it would mean that we could be together again! But, only if...well, only if you still want me?" he said, at the last part his voice was small and pleading.

Buffy was staring at him. He had never been such a big talker, but it seemed like he had gotten everything out that he had wanted to say. "What, are you saying you want to come back to me?" Buffy asked incredulously. She didn't want to believe her ears, 'cause if she would, she would probably get her hopes up and then when he left again, she knew she wouldn't survive that.

"Yes, that is what I'm saying. Buffy, I can't stay away. I love you far too much. I can't believe that I really left. I...It almost killed me to break up with you. I want to come back to you, please. Do you, can you still love me?"

"Angel, I've always loved you. I never stopped. I spent every day since you've been gone with crying. I can't survive without you, I just can't! I can never forget you, and I will never ever love anyone else besides you!" Buffy explained to him.

Angel began to hope that probably they could work things out. He knew he had been so stupid. He never should have let her go. The only thing in his world that made sense to him, that kept him going. She was the only one who could make him feel alive and he had thrown that all away.

"Angel, I love you. Believe me, I do and I want you back, I really do. I've dreamed and hoped that you would come back. But what about all those stupid reasons you pulled up when you broke up with me? What if you come up with another unimportant thing you want me to have in a month and you leave again? I wouldn't survive that, Angel. I need you here with me but if you ever leave again it would really kill me," Buffy declared.

"Buffy, love, I couldn't leave again. From now on, I will always be there, I swear. I love you, and I won't leave." Angel reassured her. "Good, cause if you would, I'd stake you and have Willow bring you back so I could stake you again!" Buffy said.

"That's fine with me. But I'd rather become best friends with Xander than leave you!" he said. That convinced Buffy. "Okay, I believe you," she said with a smile. Angel slowly crossed the room and when he stood directly in front of her, he gently took her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him closer, relieved that she had her Angel back. "But, Angel, what about the curse?" Buffy murmured into his pullover. "I don't know, Buffy! I mean, we will find a way around the curse, I promise. There has to be something that can be done about it," Angel promised her. Buffy was content with that answer for now, she would talk to Willow about it. Probably her best friend and witch could do something about it. For now, she and Angel would just spend the rest of the night together, preferable sleeping since Buffy was really exhausted now. She tried to stifle a yawn but she was just too tired. That conversation had taken its toll on her. "You tired?" Angel asked and chuckled. "Yeah, sorry, I just, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to play the guitar as you probably noticed. And, I could use some sleep now." She took his hand and led him to the bed. She laid down and then she pulled Angel down to her. Angel shrugged out of his coat and then laid down next to her and pulled her into his arms. Buffy rested her head on his shoulder and was soon fast asleep. Angel watched her for a while until he also closed his eyes and drifted into the most peaceful sleep he had had since he left Sunnydale.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: Thanks for all reviews, I'm glad you like the story! =) So, this is the last chapter of this story – for now. I might make a sequel to it someday (soon, I hope;-)) and let me know if you like the ending! Enjoy!**

When Buffy woke up, she found Angel's chocolate brown eyes staring down at her, sparkling with all his love for her. She leaned closer to him and her lips met his in a gentle kiss. The kiss soon became more passionate, she had her hands in his hair while his hands were on her back, pressing her closer to his body. When Buffy needed air, they reluctantly pulled apart and smiled at each other.

The lovers made no move to get out of bed, they were just basking in each others presence. Buffy spoke first, "It's already ten o'clock. Maybe we should get up sometime soon. Plus, I'm hungry!" Angel chuckled and asked, "Isn't your mum home?"

"No, mom's in LA, buying some artwork for the new exhibition at the gallery. So we have the house to ourselves. And it's summer holiday, so no school and I think most of the demons are also on vacation 'cause I haven't slain any lately. And Giles is in England for the time being. He wanted to visit his family, I think. And Willow and Oz are in Romania on vacation. So, I basically just hang with Xander or I sit in front of the TV with ice cream. Wow, my holidays have been boring," she explained. "Well, love, there about to get more interesting, 'cause tonight, I'm gonna take you out!" Angel said. He intended to make the rest of her holidays as nice and fun and interesting as possible. Now that he thought of it, it was their first summer holiday together. The first summer, after she had been killed by the master, she had been in LA. The next summer, he had been in hell. And this summer, well, half of it he had tried staying away from her. But the other half of it, he planned to make the best vacation ever for her.

Buffy was smiling at him, wondering what he had in mind. "Come on, let's go eat breakfast." They went downstairs and headed straight for the kitchen. Buffy was about to make herself a bowl of cereals and milk, when the phone suddenly rang. She almost let the bowl fall down. "God, heart attack. Jeez, who's calling so early. Everybody knows I'm not really awake until twelve!" She went to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone. "Hey, Buffy! It's me, Willow. How are things back home?" Willow asked. "Hey, Will. Things are going great here," she said, sharing a glance with Angel. Willow was skeptical about Buffy's enthusiasm. The last calls she had made had mostly been monologues and Buffy had sounded so depressed that Will called more often than she usually would because she was concerned for her friend. "What got you so excited?", the witch asked curiously. "Ahm, well, guess who decided to come back to Sunnydale?" Willow knew instantly who she was talking about. Only one person in the world could get Buffy so ecstatic. "Hm, I don't know. Maybe, a certain vampire with a soul who happens to be madly in love with you and couldn't stay away?"

Buffy frowned, "How d'you know?" Willow had to laugh, "I'm a witch, doofus. Oh, and also I know you two!" Buffy couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face.

"So, how is Romania and what are you doing? Have you seen a lot? And what's going on between Oz and you?" Buffy said without bother to take a breath. Willow could barely keep up with all her questions. "Wait, Buffy stop! You're talking so fast I can't keep up!" Willow calmed her. "Oh, sorry!" Buffy chuckled and looked at Angel who was also chuckling.

"Okay, everything's cool here, I love Romania, it's so interesting! Yesterday, we went to a village where gypsies lived and it was fascinating! I was so excited, and I wanted to talk to you immediately, but Oz convinced me to let you sleep since it was pretty late and," Willow told her.

Buffy interrupted her, "Wait, Will! What are you talking about? What did you wanna tell me? And what does it have to do with the gypsies? Oh! Oh, you? Oh!" "Buffy?", Angel asked, having heard the words Romania and gypsies.

Willow explained, "We met the elder woman and we asked her to decipher the curse into English for us. You know, the one Jenny tried to do and, well, I did. 'Cause we didn't really know what all of it meant and, well, I, we found out that Jenny left out the clause. So, yes, Angel has a soul, but it's permanent! And that actually since a year, so, now you can be together without holding back!" Willow smiled. Buffy's grin got wider and wider. "Willow, I love you! You and Oz. You're the very best! Tell Oz thank you! I hope you come back soon so I can hug and kiss you two! Thanks, Will, so very much! I'll call you later, okay? For now, I have some things to do," she said with a glance in Angel's direction. "Okay, Buffy! Talk to you later. Enjoy your day! Bye!" with that Willow put down the phone, just like Buffy did.

She looked at Angel and then approached him. Standing right in front of him, she wrapped her arms around him in the same instant that he put his strong arms around her. "Guess what Willow found out?" she began. "From your grin, I can tell it's something good," Angel answered. "Something very good! She and Oz went to some gypsies in Romania and the elder woman deciphered the curse Willow put on you about a year ago, and...no happiness clause! You can legally and officially be as happy as you want!" Buffy said. Angel was flabbergasted. In one day he had gotten everything he wanted. He had his Buffy back and he could be with her without holding back. Finally!

"So, what are we gonna do today?" Angel asked her with a smile. "Hm," Buffy said, "I don't know!" "Well, in that case, I'll just have to think of something. I guess I could come up with something!" he said with a seductive smile. "Really?" Buffy asked him, playing along. "Really," he said suggestively before he leaned down and kissed her lightly on her lips. His arms encircled her waist and she leaned into his strong and tall body as their kiss began to deepen. They stood in her kitchen, basking in each others arms for a long moment before Angel picked his Buffy up and, still kissing her, carried her upstairs. What a good way to begin their first vacation together, Buffy thought as her angel carried her into her bedroom.


End file.
